Guardian Angel
by Crysie
Summary: Matt’s been dead for six months when he suddenly comes to Tai as a guardian angel. No one believes Tai, and everyone begins questioning his sanity... It’s really twisted and may sound stupid, but it’s not. Angsty Taito. *Complete*
1. Alone in the Universe

Disclaimer - I don't own Digimon. I stole the title of this chapter off my favorite David Usher song, which I also don't own.  
  
I was extremely bored when I began writing this because all my friends left me to be bored and lonely... love you guys! *hugs them all*  
  
Anyway, enjoy my weird, weird Taito. You may think I'm deranged after reading it. It also gets a bit twisted in future chapters.   
  
Guardian Angel  
Alone in the Universe  
by Sapphire Goddess  
  
  
Come on, Tai! Open the damn door!  
  
I winced, but continued to ignore the yelling of Davis. He would go away eventually; my so-called friends always did.  
  
  
  
It was a different voice this time, owned by Kari. Why did she have to come? It was no question that I've always had a weakness for her, especially when she sounded determined.  
  
You can't hide in there forever! she continued to shout, pounding on the door. At this, I could hear Davis in the background commenting on what a woman' she was.  
  
Groaning, my head fell back against the couch. The words began sinking in, and I knew they were right: I couldn't hide in his apartment forever. There was a time that I could hide in here, but at this point, I shouldn't. It's been six months since the accident... Six horrible months.  
  
Standing, I walked to the door and continued listening to the arguing from outside the door. Kari was still yelling at me, but Davis was talking to someone who I soon recognized as TK.  
  
TK. Such a boy, a boy without a brother now.   
  
Frowning at the thought, I leaned against the door and began to wonder if they would ever go away. My head began throbbing, and the consistent pounding by Kari was not helping any.  
  
Tai, if you don't open up right now, I'm going to-  
  
Deciding I didn't want to hear the ending of that sentence, I opened the door and stared at the shocked faces of the younger trio. I rarely opened the door, especially to a group. It wasn't that I didn't like to see people, but when there was more than once person, it was hard to keep my eyes on them all. They were always staring at me, making it an uncomfortable environment to be in. When there was just once person in the room, I could keep my eyes on them and see just how they were looking at me.  
  
It's about time, Kari said softly, tilting her head. You look awful.  
  
I said hoarsely, realizing just how awful my voice sounded. I guess it has been a while since I spoke.  
  
Can we come in? Davis asked hopefully, smiling.   
  
I don't know. Can you?  
  
Davis broke out into a fit of giggles whilst Kari and TK seemed to force a laugh after a few moments, both looking extremely worried.   
  
_May_ we come in? Kari asked once Davis settled down, after giving him a harsh look.  
  
Of course, I said, moving out of the way. After they were in and I shut the door, I offered them something to eat, and with great reluctance from Davis, they all refused.  
  
It's Mom's birthday in a week, Kari said, smiling nervously. Her lips kept twitching, and right away I knew she was forcing it.  
  
Just cut to the chase, Kari. I don't give a fuck about Mom's birthday, I said, sitting in my armchair beside the window. It's where I sat most of the time, and as everyone said, I was wasting my life away' in this chair. There was no reading or watching television in this chair. It was more interesting to see people walking about in their petty lives rather than see who won the latest soccer match.  
  
Kari glanced to her left at TK, who was deep in thoughts not looking back at her. She then turned to Davis, who was staring at the TV, as if it was actually on a channel to watch. Frowning, she turned her attention back to me and said, You're scaring everyone.  
  
At this, both TK and Davis' attention were caught and they both seemed to be staring at me for a reaction. I hated their looks: both had the sympathetic expression on, trying to understand what I was thinking.  
  
I don't get why you bother coming here to tell me that you think I'm scaring everyone', I said, well aware that my voice was rising. From the look on TK's face, he could see it too.  
  
Tai, we're just trying to help you, Kari said timidly, scooting closer to Davis. She looked scared of me, and I hoped she was. Why was she always consistently bothering me?  
  
Helping and _annoying_ are two very different things, I said, trying my hardest to give them a hint that I didn't want their supposed help'. Why would I? They didn't understand the pain to lose a loved one, a soul mate.   
  
Why do I even bother? You don't even care about your life anymore, Kari said, standing up. She wiped her eyes that left me presuming she was on the brink of crying, and began walking to the door where she proceeded to leave.   
  
Go comfort her, TK said, pointing at the door. I'll catch up in a bit.  
  
Davis nodded and smiled feebly at me before running out of the door to catch up with my sister. I was well aware of TK looking at me, but I decided to ignore him. Maybe he would leave as well. It was such a mistake to let them in.  
  
You have to move on, Taichi.  
  
The very essence of him using my full name caused me to shiver and I looked at him, straight in the eye; eyes that looked so similar to Matt's, yet didn't hold a cup cake to the depth in them. TK looked so much older, so much wiser since I last took a good look at him. I guess he's really grown since Matt's death.  
  
Matt's death. I swallowed and tried not thinking about it, but already that pit in my stomach began from every time thinking about it. All these months without him has eaten a part of me away, just like the bugs in the earth eating Matt's rotting body. The thought made me feel sick, and if it weren't for TK's interruption, I would have been sick on the carpet.  
  
Matt's dead, TK said, trembling the words slightly. He's never coming back and you have to accept it. Move on. Find another person to love. You can still-  
  
I'm just supposed to find another person to love and call my soul mate? I spent six years in love with Matt, TK! Six fucking years that I never thought would end, and they did. They ended with his death, I said, my voice cracking slightly. I hated that I was so weak talking about his death, but I couldn't help it. I loved him so much and he left me behind in this cruel world where I was constantly bothered by my sister and _her_ friends.  
  
I'm not saying that, TK argued back, flinging his arms in emphasis. But there are other people to fall in love with! My brother wasn't the only person in the world.  
  
How could you say that? I asked, shaking my head in disbelief. Matt was his own relative, his brother. To say that was like he didn't care that Matt was dead.  
  
Tai, you're pushing everyone away! We care about you and I know it was hard when my brother died. Believe me: it was. But there's nothing we can do to change that, and I know for a fact that he would have wanted us to live on, TK said softly, resting his hand upon my shoulder. He looked concern and unhappy, whilst making me more annoyed by the minute. I wanted to be alone; I wanted the others to go away and just leave me be. Why couldn't they understand that?  
  
You don't understand! I want him back!  
  
He's never coming back! He's dead, Tai. He's dead! He was on the highway when that sleeping truck driver ran into him! TK yelled, and he looked as if he was going to cry. I wouldn't blame him if he did, I wanted to as well. He blinked as I continued to stare at him, and a sympathetic expression came upon his face. I'm sorry, Tai. You know all of this and you don't need me reminding you.  
  
Just leave, TK. My sister needs you, I said, shrugging his hand off my shoulder and turning around.  
  
You're impossible to get through! You're going to wind up all alone, Tai. When you finally realize the way you're dealing with Matt's death is a mistake, it'll be too late, TK whispered, and I could hear him shuffling behind me towards the front door. However, I refuse to give up. Kari and I are coming here tomorrow morning. See you then.  
  
The front door slammed before I could shout back a refusal, and I found myself sighing, wishing they would just let me be. Oh great, it's going to be a fun start to the day tomorrow. With thoughts of annoyance towards the others, I went to my room with hope of getting some rest.  
  
I went inside and passed by the mirror, catching a glimpse of how I looked. Kari wasn't kidding: I looked awful. My brown hair was wilder than usual and my brown eyes looked dull and tired; even I could see this.   
  
Frowning at my reflection, I grabbed the nearest object, which happened to be a sorry for your loss' ornament of some sort that Mimi had sent me a few months ago and threw it at the mirror. It shattered into millions of pieces and I couldn't help but bend on my knees and stare at the broken shards of glass. Picking up a piece and running my finger across the edge, it left a tiny red mark that faded in a minute; this edge wasn't sharp. However, the next piece I found was sharper and unintentionally, it cut my thumb.   
  
I said, bringing my thumb to my mouth. I began to suck the blood, and I couldn't help but admit that it's taste was satisfying; I wanted to taste more of it.  
  
Oh great, I've turned into a vampire. It's just what I need to make my life more complete. I now love the taste of blood. Lovely.  
  
I walked towards my bed and laid in it, pulling the covers over my head. It was my secure place. Well, my chair was too, but this more so. It was my bed that comforted me through the long weeks after Matt's death, and the continuing days of his absence in my life. I could just lay here all day and somehow the pain would go away.  
  
I closed my eyes, allowing my thoughts to drift towards Matt. He used to lay in this bed, next to me. I would hold him and kiss him while he laid in my arms, telling me how much he loved me. I knew what he said was true, and he knew I felt the same, but I resented him for leaving me. Why couldn't he just hold on and try keeping awake instead of falling conscience when trapped in his bloody car?  
  
A tear slid down my face as I realized how much pain he would have been in if he would have continued to remain awake. Would it have been worth it though? If he would have went through pain staying awake as rescue workers tried freeing him from his mangled car, would it have been worth it to live his life? I wasn't so sure. Maybe it was better for him to escape the pain he went through sometimes. It wasn't anything serious, but he always had horrible fights with his father over his sexuality. Maybe it was better for him to dye instead of keep living.  
  
This thought caused me to frown because wasn't I worth enough for him living? Then again, maybe he couldn't help but fall unconscious. Maybe he was meant to be an angel in heaven. I know that while on earth, he was my angel. Not only just an angel, but my guardian angel. He watched over me and protected me, and I hadn't realized how much he had done for me while I lived, but he was there for me all of the time.  
  
I closed my eyes and reopened them, then repeated the slow blinking motion. Maybe he was someone else's guardian angel now, watching over them. Only now, he was actually a dead angel whilst with me he was alive.  
  
[No, I am afraid not.]  
  
My brow tightened when I heard a voice, and almost instantly I recognized it. It was a soothing voice, one that I had grown to love over the main years we had known each other; it was a voice I hadn't heard for six months.  
  
Opening my eyes, I saw him. Beautiful with a golden aura around him. He wasn't wearing any white robe that you would see on television, but was wearing the black jeans and shirt he had died in. Yet, even with the dark clothing, there was still something lighter about him, more mystical.  
  
With this glimpse of him, I gasped and felt myself going light headed. My eyes shut and darkness swam over me.  
  
  
End of Chapter 1.  
  
  
Well, this is weird, isn't it? I know it may seem confusing, but just trust me with this cause I have a really good idea . 


	2. New Levels

Disclaimer - I don't own Digimon.   
  
  
Guardian Angel  
New Levels  
by Sapphire Goddess  
  
  
A blinding light brought my eyes open, and within a moment, it caused them to close. I felt confused: what was this light? Why was it shining on me?  
  
I opened my eyes again, realizing that someone just turned on my bedroom light. Groaning, I sat up and found myself being hovered over by TK and Kari.  
  
What are you guys doing here? I asked, feeling quite grumpy already.   
  
I told you that we're coming here, TK replied, sitting on the edge of my bed. Now get up. It's ten in the morning and you need some breakfast.  
  
Don't you two have lives? I asked, grumbling as I stood and stretched.  
  
I have a spare during this block and TK has Algebra, which he gladly missed to come with me, Kari said, smiling as she explained everything. That was my sister: either looking extremely worried about something that was far beyond her reach or smiling.  
  
You're mother isn't going to be impressed, I said, frowning slightly. Even though I know cutting one class isn't that bad, it's an awful habit to get into. I remembered when Matt and I were in high school and he cut class to hang out with his band. He ended up failing the class because he just couldn't stop skipping. I paused, almost wishing that Matt and I were back in high school. He and I also used to skip classes to make out in the janitor's closet. Those were the days...  
  
Earth to Tai, Kari said, waving a hand in front of my eyes, which caused me to blink and grumble at her.  
  
You two got me up this morning and you're sitting in my room. What about this supposed breakfast I'm supposed to get?  
  
It's coming, it's coming, Kari said, walking towards TK and helping him upon his feet. We'll go make it now. You take a shower.  
  
I caught the towel she threw at me as she left the room, and for a few moments I just stood there, listening to the giggles coming from the kitchen. Sometimes I just liked listening to the sounds around me. There usually wasn't too many due to living alone in my apartment with hardly any visitors except these two and Davis, and they were the only one's who made sound. If I was really sick of the silence, I would take a pot and pan and bang them together loudly for some sort of distraction; no wonder the neighbors thought I was crazy.  
  
The bathroom was in the room next to mine, which is where I headed to. As soon as I shut the door, I began to strip down until I was fully naked and then turned on the water. When I found a temperature suitable, I cleansed myself under the water, briefly thinking about how annoyed I was that I was awakened from my sleep when I just wanted to be alone.  
  
Yet, there was this small - and I mean very small! - part of me that wanted the company. There's always been a part of me that's wanted to be with somebody, and I thought I would spend my entire life with Matt and never be alone. It was our entire high school dream. We began dating in grade ten and it exceeded until six months ago, not too long after I turned twenty-one. Anyway, now that he was gone, I had no one. This lead to that very small part of me that wants company, but only sometimes. Maybe once a year would do.  
  
I suddenly stopped washing myself as something registered. Something happened last night... something weird.   
  
Matt. His name floated into my head and everything that happened last night washed upon me, causing me to drop the bottle of shampoo I was holding. That had to be a dream! He was there though... and he said something... and he looked ever so beautiful.  
  
It had to have been a dream though. I must have dozed off when I crawled into bed. Still, something about it caused a weird tingly sensation to run through me as I picked up the bottle, and I couldn't help but feel edgy about the situation as I began to wash my hair.  
  
After I was thoroughly washed, I fetched myself the towel Kari had given me and dried off. I do believe the last time I took a shower was a week ago. I have to admit: putting on fresh, clean clothes was rather a nice feeling. Now I remember what it was like back when I was younger. It's taken for granted by most, but now I had a new desire of appreciation for clean clothing.  
  
I took myself out of the bathroom and into the kitchen I went where I found Kari and TK sitting at the kitchen table. In front of each, a plate with scrambled eggs sat, and same with my spot. The food looked delicious, and when I sat and ate, I realized it tasted delicious as well. Now I had an appreciation for cooking.  
  
This was the first time in a long time Kari and TK actually came over to cook me something. They did try coming over plenty, but I guess it wasn't always possible for them. Note to self: don't let them in next time. Now they think we've reached a new level. They think that since I let them in yesterday and made me breakfast this morning, that they're making some sort of progress' on me. Like they're going to break me.  
  
It wasn't too long after Kari did the dishes when they left back for school, and I'm sure they were both late for their next class; I'm also sure they were glad about that.  
  
I sat in my armchair and began looking out of my window, watching the people below. There are some that I know almost off by heart. I know what time they walk by my apartment complex, when I don't expect to see them, and which people know each other. It's all very interesting to watch; more interesting than my life.  
  
Some people laugh when I tell them that, which is why I have learned to keep my mouth shut about what I feel, especially after Matt's death. He was the only one who would listen to me. Anyway, most laugh because the people who know me well, know that my friends and I saved the world. Supposedly it is the most exciting thing in the world. It was at the time, but now it seemed so distant of a time. God, that was so long ago that I can hardly remember being close to the others. The only people I really remained close with were Matt, Kari and TK. The others I began drifting away from, especially after Matt's death.  
  
My thoughts returning to Matt's death made me think about last night. It was very peculiar. Why had I dreamt about him?  
  
[Because you never dreamt about me, idiot.]  
  
His playful voice rang through my mind and I could feel my mouth drop in shock. I closed my eyes, breathing deeply and trying to coax myself that it's all my imagination playing a trick on me. Yes, my imagination...  
  
[Oh Taichi. How I've missed your confused mind.]  
  
Stop it! I yelled, placing my hands over my ears. More than anything I wanted his voice to stop, and yet, I yearned to hear it.  
  
[Calm down. I'm not going to hurt you.]  
  
That isn't exactly what I'm worried about, I said, taking my hands away from my ears. It's not like it helped anyway since his voice is in my head.  
  
[What are you worried about?]  
  
Never mind, I said, not having the energy or means to explain to him that I am afraid of being hurt again if he is a ghost around me. Obviously, he's going to leave again one day if he is back, which I also highly doubt. I must be imagining things. Still... I might as well take this opportunity. Why are you here? How are you here? How come I can't see you like yesterday?  
  
[You mean like this?]   
  
I swear he popped out of no where and was suddenly standing in front of me, looking exactly the same as yesterday. He had a small smile on his face while staring at me, his bright blue eyes piercing into me. I knew he could read my thoughts. It's the only explanation for him saying things that I was thinking.  
  
My mouth fell open as he made his way to the couch and laid upon it, looking as graceful as ever. He always had been graceful when he was alive, but now there was a new grace within him, one that caused him to look sophisticated; he is _like_ an angel.  
  
Correction: he is an angel. I already know I'm beginning to feel he's back alive, which may be bad since he did die a number of months ago. I'm staring at him though. It's been so long since I have...  
  
[Taichi, I'm not going to leave you if I don't have to.]  
  
Stop reading my thoughts, I said, approaching the couch cautiously. He was just lying there, staring up at me with those caring eyes. Only, I was almost scared to touch him, as if doing so would either break him like a china doll or cause him to vanish back into heaven where he belonged. Obviously, I did not want that to happen.  
  
[I can't very well stop reading your thoughts. It's not like I choose it - well, that's a lie, but still. Also, I'm not going anywhere any time soon.]  
  
I sat on the edge of the couch, still not entirely convinced that nothing was to happen if I came close to Matt. He continued to stare up at me, smirking slightly. It was like he wanted me to fall right back into his arms, similar to old times. I wanted to, but something held me back.   
  
Matt's dead. He has been for slightly over six months. All of the sudden he is sitting here, on my - or, ours, if you count how it was shared by he and I when he was alive - couch, staring seductively at me. I've been imagining this for the last half of a year, and yet, I was convinced it would never happen; Matt would never come back to me. It's a known fact: people don't come back alive as ghosts (unless you count those old people who are convinced that they hear their dead husbands while on their death beds).  
  
[Tai, one thing I've learned from you is to seize the opportunity when possible. Now you're a hypocrite of your own beliefs?] When saying this, he sulked slightly, looking somewhat upset.  
  
I don't understand. What opportunity? I shouldn't lie; obviously he meant that I shouldn't take for granted him being here after such a long time.   
  
He frowned and looked away, which caused me to frown as well and reach towards him. Just as I was about to touch him, the phone rang, halting my actions. I froze, unsure of my surroundings or what I was should do.  
  
[You better answer that.]  
  
I nodded and went to answer the phone. The ringing bothered me; I guess I don't get enough phone calls to get used to the loud ringing caused by it. I picked it up, immediately giving an aggravated greeting. I clearly wanted the caller to know I did not want to speak to anyone.  
  
Is Ryou there?  
  
You have a wrong number, I said coldly, wanting to hang up and hurry back to Matt.  
  
No! He gave me this number at a party last night! Stop lying and put him on the phone!  
  
I hung up on the woman. Was she that stupid? Obviously this guy gave her a wrong number because he found her as annoying as I do.  
  
When I turned around, I frowned. He was gone. Vanished. Was it something I did? Anxiety began to fill my mind and body, causing me to feel somewhat dizzy and unable to breathe. I sat on the couch and began pleading with my mind for him to come back. But he wasn't answering...   
  
More than anything I wanted him to. I wanted to see him laying on this couch next to me.  
  
I whispered, please come back.  
  
He still didn't answer.  
  
  
End of Chapter 2  
  
  
I don't think this chapter was that great, but I still have ideas to bring this story forward.


	3. Confusion and Illusion

Disclaimer - I don't own Digimon.   
  
I'm so addicted to writing this story. Honestly... Anyway, please leave any comments you have ^^  
  
  
Guardian Angel  
Confusion and Illusion  
by Sapphire Goddess  
  
  
After Matt had disappeared, I laid upon the couch and stared at the ceiling. I hadn't realized that's what I'd been doing for a long time, and even then I'm not not sure how much time passed. I just know that it was morning when Kari and TK had been over and now the sun was beginning to set.  
  
He disappeared. Just like that. It was like living his death over again, except this time I couldn't cry. There was nothing left in me to do that. How could I weep over him again? I wouldn't and couldn't let myself.  
  
I was still laying on the uncomfortable couch that had springs popping into my back due to the cushions being ripped when I sighed. Only a week before Matt's accident, we had talked about buying a new one. After his death, it just didn't seem to matter. Then again, nothing seemed to matter, and it still doesn't matter. Who cares about a couch? I'm fine keeping the couch. It was Matt I wanted back, and as cliched as it sounds, I would do anything to get him back.   
  
Sighing, I closed my eyes and began willing myself to stand. My legs were cramped from laying here so long and my head hurt. If I could make it to the kitchen and get pain killers, it would put me to sleep and I wouldn't have to think of Matt all night long - the perfect plan.  
  
I found myself standing in a few moments, heading towards the kitchen. It took me a few minutes to find the Tylenol, but it finally showed up in a cupboard I least suspected it would be in. Figures that things are never where they are supposed to be.   
  
The bottle told me to take three as a maximum, but I took four to keep me asleep all night. Hopefully, it wouldn't overdose me. I laughed to myself, thinking how stupid that was. I had overdosed on pain killers before and it was much more than four tablets taken.  
  
It only took twenty minutes for the pills to take effect, and I found myself stumbling drowsily to my bedroom and laying in my bed. It was much more comfortable than the couch. I had no problems beginning to doze off, and I could feel myself beginning to fall asleep, but when a peaceful voice began singing to me, my eyes drifted open and I found myself staring at him.  
  
You came back, I croaked, immediately clearing my throat after saying that.   
  
Matt only nodded and continued singing the soothing words. I recognized the song right away; it was the song we first danced to at a school dance, when we finally came out as a couple. The song originated from his former band and this one had always been my favorite ever since he dedicated it to me.  
  
I closed my eyes as the words of the song engulfed me, bringing serenity to mind. His voice had always been so soothing, but now it seemed to have a tranquil touch to it. The feeling of sleep began washing upon me again, and this time it was welcomed. As Matt's singing ended, I fell into a peaceful slumber.  
  
***  
  
My body twitched as my eyes opened and I couldn't help but groan. Looking at the clock, it read 9:30. I must have slept for over twelve hours. Those pills really knocked me out.  
  
[They sure did. I've been bored out of my mind sitting here.]  
  
I looked to the right of my bed and began screaming. The covers were thrown off of me and I jumped up, backing myself into the wall. How are you here? Why are you here?! I don't understand!  
  
Tears filled my eyes and I couldn't help but let them slip down my face. This didn't make any sense. How could he be here again? He's supposed to be dead! How could he just show up again after six months? How's this even possible?  
  
[Tai, I'm sorry for scaring you. Really, I am.]  
  
How are you here, Matt? I asked, leaning against the wall. I still felt that if I went near him, he would suddenly disappear. He did yesterday, didn't he? Speaking of that... Where'd you go yesterday?  
  
[Sorry about that, but I had a duty to take care of.] He grinned when saying this, and I wanted to ask what he meant, but felt obliged not to. Instead, I pushed myself away from the wall and forced myself to take a seat next to him on the bed.  
  
I don't understand any of this.  
  
[It's rather confusing, isn't it?]  
  
I nodded and signaled him to explain - explain any of it! I just needed to hear his voice, and I needed to hear some sort of explanation to his presence in front of me.  
  
He moved up the bed and leaned against the head board, sitting cross legged. It was then that he patted his lap and I took that offer to rest my head on his lap. When I touched him, I felt nothing. It was strange - like he wasn't even there.  
  
[Comfortable?] When I nodded, he continued, [You see, we - us Angels - have to wait six months in order to come down to Earth again to see our loved ones. He makes us wait so that we get used to living in Heaven and the idea of being dead.]  
  
How come my grandmother never continued visiting my dad after she died? I asked, confused. What he was saying didn't make much sense to me.   
  
[Many choose not to go down and bother their loved ones because it only prologues their pain and suffering longer.] he said thoughtfully, tilting his head. [I came back because I was tired of the angels up there. They're so annoying.]  
  
So you are an angel in heaven? I asked.  
  
He nodded and glanced away from me, staring at the ceiling. [I should go now. I am not allowed to spend too much of my time down here.]  
  
When will I see you again? I asked, sitting up.   
  
[Soon.] That was the last thing he said before disappearing, and in seeing that it frightened me. He just disappeared, again. Would he be doing this my entire life? Did I want this? Surely I love him, but could I handle him disappearing in and out of my life? Great, I sound like one of those soap stars on daily television.   
  
Groaning, I laid back against the pillow of my bed and frowned as I realized laying upon it felt exactly how it did when I was laying on Matt's lap.  
  
***  
  
Here's the laundry, TK announced, walking into the room.   
  
Kari smiled as she took the basket from him and set it on my bed. All I could do was sigh as I made up my bed. Not too long after Matt left, Kari and TK came - stupid spare of Kari's! - and this time, had the objective to clean up my bedroom. Looking around, it was awfully messy, but thanks to Kari I could now actually see the pale blue carpet that lay underneath the heaps of clothing now sitting in the basket.   
  
I returned to doing my task of arranging the covers onto my bed, whilst thinking of Matt. I was still in disbelief of how he could be here. Ghosts were never an issue of beliefs for me; I had never been one to believe in ghosts, spirits, and angels.  
  
Wha'cha thinking about, Tai? TK asked, pulling the opposite side of the bed's quilt towards my pillows.  
  
Nothing really, I said, not really wanting to sound crazy. If Kari and TK found out what I was seeing, they might think I'm crazy. On the other hand, maybe they would see Matt too. After all, he does love TK as much as me, so maybe he'd see him too!   
  
With that in mind, I began willing Matt to come back. I wondered if that would do anything and kept my hopes high; now I really wanted himto come.  
  
Tai, are you okay? TK asked, tugging on the sleeve of my shirt.  
  
I blinked, realizing I had spaced out. Kari and TK were giving me concerned looks and I smiled to relieve them. I'm fine. I had a bad sleep last night.  
  
How come? Kari asked, concern not only still showing on her face but now in her voice as well.  
  
However, I never gave her an answer because there he was, standing in the corner. He winked at me and ran a hand through that heavenly hair of his.  
  
I cried out, and began to lunge towards him. A smile welcomed me when I had called his name.  
  
I reached him and smiled, turning around. The smile dropped right off my face when I saw the looks Kari and TK were giving me. Maybe this wasn't such a wonderful idea...  
  
End of Chapter 3  
  
Hope you enjoyed it, and please tell me if you did ^^


	4. Caressing Nothing

Disclaimer - I don't own Digimon.   
  
I'm having a lot of fun writing this and thank you for the reviews. Please keep sending them in because they make me smile and write faster =)  
  
  
**Guardian Angel  
Caressing Nothing**  
  
  
Sometimes what I thought were my best ideas actually turn out to be my worst. Honestly, I should really start rethinking what I do before actually acting it out. Then again, that would be acting out of character on my part. Me - Taichi - actually thinking before acting - now there's a thought!   
  
I've come to this conclusion now, after four and a half hours since Kari and TK were here. It was my brilliant idea to see if TK could also see Matt like I could, which has to be one of the most dense actions I have ever taken.   
  
[Tai, it wasn't that bad. Really.]  
  
Shows what you know, I said, stretching along the bed and pulling the covers over tighter, as if it were a shield, blocking me from the rest of the world.   
  
[Kari won't stay upset forever. You know TK: he'll talk some sense into her.]  
  
Maybe I'm the one who needs some sense.  
  
Matt sighed and had taken a seat next to me, attempting a smile. I only glared at him and turned away, taking the covers with me. He made a sound of annoyance and I couldn't help but think of how much he and TK sounded alike. When I had called out Matt's name and ran towards him, the two younger teens had gasped and wore a facial expression of confusion. No surprise in that. What shocked me was the fact that Kari burst into tears and ran out of the room. TK had grunted a sound that sounded just as Matt's did a moment ago and yelled something about faking to see Matt just to get them out of the house. It didn't make me feel any better or any security like I had hoped, and I'm guessing this means that neither TK or Kari could see Matt too.  
  
How come TK can't see you? I asked. Don't you love him as much as me?  
  
[Of course I do, but I could only choose one. I chose you on the basis that TK is moving on with his life and you aren't.]  
  
This answer proceeded to make me annoyed. Everyone was always on my case of how I'm dealing with Matt's death, but why couldn't they just see that I'm like this? I don't want to just move on with my life. I don't really know how, but still - I'd rather just live the way I want without anyone harassing me about it.  
  
I wish you would have been able to pick two because then I wouldn't have looked crazy in front of them, I said, allowing myself to frown and turn back to him.   
  
[I wish so too, but I can't help it. There's no way of changing His procedure over things.]  
  
I guess you're right, I said, but it's not going to make things better. Kari and TK are probably going to force me to see a psychiatrist now.  
  
[Don't worry, relax.] Matt gave a reassuring smile and sat next to me on the bed. It was amazing how he didn't make any creases in it when he took a seat, but I suppose that's how being an angel works - he has no weight or mass.  
  
I can't relax, I said. I didn't want to admit that I cared of what Kari and TK thought of my sanity. The thought of the duo thinking I'm insane and forcing me to see a psychiatrist sickened me, mainly because that would mean I would actually have to talk to someone about Matt's death. With TK and Kari, they don't dare bring up Matt's death to subject too much - unless one of them is angry; I never had to worry about talking to them about it. However, if they thought I was crazy, that would lead to a whole different thing  
  
Matt frowned. [I'm not leaving here until you're relaxed.]  
  
I couldn't help but laugh. How exactly will you do that? The only way you were able to relax me was either cuddle or have sex.  
  
[I wouldn't doubt we can't do the latter of the two.]  
  
There had never been a moment where I felt more shocked. How could he, though? He's dead My eyes suspiciously watched him approach me on the bed, but the hesitation didn't last. I loved Matt, and feelings of anticipation seized before I could stop them. He placed a finger before my lips, a signal for me to hush, to enjoy myself.   
  
I pushed my sweatpants down and began to push my boxers as well. Matt waited for the clothing to be around my ankles before he said, [Put your hand there and I'll put my hand on top of yours.]  
  
I did what I was told and hardly waited a moment before stroking myself. Masturbation had never really satisfied me since Matt's death and I rarely did it, but sometimes the need called. At this point, it was like I was masturbating, but it was so much more. The passion was there, like it had been when Matt and I would make love as youths. I may not be penetrated, nor be penetrating Matt, but there was a spark from this, even though I couldn't feel Matt's hand on mine as I continually caressed myself to ecstasy.   
  
I came within a few minutes with a cry of Matt's name, fell back onto my bed, and closed my eyes. His presence left - I could feel it, and I opened my eyes.  
  
Where are you going?   
  
[I am being called to leave. Take care, Taichi.]  
  
I closed my eyes once he was gone and found myself falling into a deep slumber of serenity.  
  
***  
  
Phones are really an evil demon of the earth. They cry, cry, and cry some more like some pathetic child for attention. It's attention the phone seeks - like a child - because as soon as you answer it, you're trapped in its wrath. You're most likely obliged speaking to your friends, coworkers, or worse: your mother.   
  
She called early in the morning, complaining about something whatnot. Always complaining. I think mothers have a gift for that, and I hope dearly that Kari doesn't acquire it. Then again, the nagging has already begun by her. Anyway, I suppose Kari has spoken to her because she's worried about me again. It is really bothersome when she is in that state because then she begins coming over. Such as this morning.  
  
I was just putting the sheets into the washing machine when she and Kari strolled into the lobby of my apartment building and spotted me. Kari made a face when she saw the sheets but said nothing, and I forced a smile on my face and greeted her and Mother warmly. My mother took into my fake cheeriness and began chatting away furiously, mainly about plans for her birthday party.  
  
Why don't we go upstairs? Kari suggested. She glared at me and I realized she was still upset about yesterday. I really must have frightened her.  
  
My mother agreed and we ended up sitting in my living room within a few moments. She had taken my comfort chair, and I'm glad she did or else there would have been complaining about buying a new couch.  
  
Taichi, you really need to get a job, she said, fixing the fold of her skirt.   
  
I clenched my teeth and sighed. I will.  
  
She smiled and began chatting about her birthday again, which is on Wednesday. After some time, she glanced at the clock and said, I best be off.  
  
Inside I was jumping with joy, but I merely forced a look of regret on my face as my mother stood. I showed her and Kari to the door and followed them downstairs to collect my laundry.  
  
Tai, would you like to come with us to see everyone else? We're gathering at the park today, Kari explained.  
  
No tha-  
  
Tai, could you take your sister to the park? I just don't have the time today! The market is having it's Saturday Blowout sale and I want to get fresh spinach.  
  
I cringed at the thought of my mother trying a new recipe with whatever she buys and saw Kari making the same face. I frowned, realizing this would mean having to see the others. Kari really looked like she wanted to go and sighing, I agreed reluctantly.  
  
I'll pick up Kari tonight, my mother said, and she kissed both of our cheeks and was off.  
  
Do we really have to go? I asked, stuffing the sheets into the dryer. I slid in two coins and turned around, hoping she would rather watch TV.  
  
Yes, I want to go. I don't like spending my Saturdays indoor like you, she replied. Let's go after your sheets finish drying.  
  
I nodded and had taken a seat next to her, but she frowned and turned the other way.  
  
Kari, I'm sorry about the other day.  
  
Why did you say that? Why did you call Matt's name and run as if you could see him? she asked, her voice barely a whisper.  
  
I remembered mine and TK's conversation and said, I just wanted to be alone and I thought that would get you out of the house.  
  
She frowned and her brow furrowed.   
  
Come on, let's go get me dressed and then we'll get going.  
  
She nodded and followed me up the stairs. As we walked, I couldn't help but notice she looked troubled. I really hope she bought my explanation.  
  
I quickly changed in my room and I could hear her calling TK to say that we were on our way. It's hard not to believe Kari purposely did this to get me to come; she takes the train by herself all of the time. In a way, the only reason I'm doing this is to make up for yesterday.  
  
Ready to go? I asked, coming out of the room.  
  
She nodded and we went back downstairs to fetch my sheets. I gave her my keys to my car and told her to wait in there while I put the sheets in my room. When I came back down, I found her in the car waiting on the street.  
  
Since when do you drive? I asked as I climbed into the driver's seat.  
  
I don't, but I felt like trying. She shrugged and began gazing out of the window.  
  
Kari, you could have gotten yourself into an accident, I said, putting on my seat belt.  
  
Like you would have cared, she muttered, loud enough for me to hear.  
  
I would have, I said quietly and began driving. We stayed in this awkward silence for a few minutes until she spoke again.  
  
You do know that mom's going to stop paying for the insurance of this car if you don't get a job, right?  
  
Yes, I knew that, I said, gripping my hands tighter on the steering wheel. I suppose I should get a job if she's planning to do that.  
  
Whatever. Just get a job. She turned away from me and neither of us spoke again.  
  
I sighed and continued to drive to Odaiba park: a place I loathed and wished on dear life that I didn't have to attend.   
  
  
End of Chapter 4  
  
  
I dislike writing lemons so I just wrote that shortly for a purpose in this story. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter ^^ Next chapter is crazy. Honestly.


	5. Crazy Outing

Disclaimer - I don't own Digimon.   
  
I'm having a lot of fun writing this and thank you for the reviews. Please keep sending them in because they make me smile and write faster =)  
  
Guardian Angel  
Crazy Outing  
by Crysie  
  
  
Driving as slowly as possible wasn't the ideal way to try avoiding the park. It was rather lame and Kari even picked up on it as soon as I begun slowing down. Less then five minutes away, my heart plummeted against the window shield, leaving a bloody trail behind.  
  
Or so I wished. I would rather be dead than having to see the others. Never answer the phone; that is the lesson of all of this.  
  
There's TK. Kari pointed, a small smile grew on her face.   
  
Don't tell me you like him, I said, pulling into a parking stall.  
  
Heavens no! TK is my best friend, a brother - it wouldn't be right! Kari raised an eyebrow and laughed slightly. Besides, we would have been brother and sister in-laws if... if... never mind.  
  
Don't say it. The harsh whisper of my voice and the tight gripping on the steering wheel seemed to cause Kari to smile at me apologetically and turn to get out of the car. I blinked and watched her run into TK's awaiting arms. Only then did I feel a painful stab in my heart; I wanted my blonde back.   
  
A knock on the window car caused me to jump slightly and bounce back against the seat due to the secure safety belt biting against my chest.  
  
Hey, you awake? Sora cooed softly, still tapping on the glass.  
  
I forced a smile whilst unfastening my seat belt and stepping out of the car. She immediately wrapped her slender arms around my neck and began to hum quietly into my ear. My eyebrows furrowed and a frown replaced the neutral expression on my face. This wasn't right... Matt would always hum in my ear to attempt soothing me, but now Sora was. She's evil, that's what. She wants me and is trying to take Matt's place. I cannot let her.  
  
Shoving her fragile body away, I ducked back into the car and fumbled in my pockets for the keys.  
  
Sora yelled, running up to the car and banging the door fiercily. Unfortunately for me, the door was not locked and she opened it easily. What in the world are you doing?  
  
By now, the other Digidestined surrounded Sora, and I felt like a hot new _Barbie_ on display. Their eyes felt like fire burning into me, and I could not help but gasp and bury my head onto my lap.  
  
Tai, it's us - your friends. We care about you. It was Sora who spoke yet again. I've been here for no more than two minutes and she's already tiring me.  
  
You're evil! I began to shout, flinging my arms out in an attempt to shoo her away. It worked. She fell back and her eyes grew large. You just want to take Matt's place because you never liked me being gay with him! Too fucking bad for you!  
  
That isn't true-  
  
However, TK never let her finish speaking. Tai, no one here wants to hurt you and no is plotting against you. We just want to hang out with you like old times.  
  
Old times... Images began to flash through my mind - images of making love to Matt whilst he groaned beneath me, of laughing with the Digidestined whilst Matt had his arms wrapped around my body, and of the times in the Digital World. All were old times - favorable times I would never regain back. He's dead. They're fading memories that should last me a life time, but won't. They always say memories will last forever, but they never do. Somehow, they fade into a dark void in the pit of your stomach. Slowly - over a long period of years - the void grows too strongly and reigns out of control. And suddenly, you're dead, being buried six feet under.  
  
Tai! Please, Kari begged, tears running down her face.  
  
I snapped, hitting the edge of my steering wheel.  
  
Just stop it! Come out and have a picnic with us. Her voice was a mere whisper, barely hovering over the sounds of cars driving by and daily life as it was.  
  
Just like _old times_? I sneered.   
  
Joe nodded and took a step forward, attempting contact with my arm. I glowered at it as a small ball of rage filled inside of me. He's much too close... He'll turn into an evil snake with wild fangs that will piece into my wrist, draining every drop of blood I have. Now I realize he's a vampire, not a snake. They don't want my blood. Shaking my head, the image of Joe as a vampire faded as he reppeared in his usual state of neatly kept hair and small-framed glasses.  
  
It'll never be the same! Don't you all fucking know it?! Sora is going to try replacing Matt and you all think I'm fucking crazy!  
  
We don't think you're crazy, Izzy said gently, letting go of Yolei's hand and taking a step beside Joe. We just want to spend some time with you.  
  
_They'll hurt you._ The voice was a mere whisper and I shuddered. Get in the car, Kari.  
  
But Tai-  
  
Get. In. The. Fucking. Car! I said through clenched teeth.  
  
She began to cry and shook TK's grasp around her shoulders. She mouthed something to him that I was unsure of before climbing into the passenger seat next to me. When closing the door, I stepped on the gas peddle and veered off. Kari was looking back, still crying hysterically.  
  
Would you shut up? I yelled, reaching forward and turning the knob of the volume. Music began to blare, barely drowning out the sound of Kari crying. She only sobbed louder.  
  
I turned sharply at a corner, which caused Kari to collapse against me. There wasn't a care in the world to where I headed; I was just driving, making reckless turns and stops. Cars honked and Kari continued to scream as loud as possible. Everything was beginning to blur: the cars, streets, Kari, and the various sounds around me. Tears poured out of my eyes and a sob escaped my lips as I lifted my hand to cover my face.  
  
Kari yelled, but I didn't answer her. New sounds added to the others. Unpleasant sounds. Tires screeching. More anonymous honks. Screaming from Kari. Pure crying from me.  
  
It all stopped in what seemed like forever, yet appeared like a second. When this occured, silence followed and I lifted my head to see the results of my actions.  
  
A car was smashed against Kari's side, leaving her still with eyes shut and cuts covering her face and neck. A gasp escaped my throat as I climbed over to her and checked for a pulse. There was one, thankfully. I closed my eyes and sighed deeply, waiting for the sounds of sirens to appear.  
  
***  
  
Where's my baby?!  
  
Other various sounds followed that, such as the sounds of doctors shouting directions and metals clinking. My eyes opened slowly and they met with a pair of bright green ones.  
  
You're going to be just fine, the owner of the eyes said. Your parents are here too.  
  
Where am I? I asked, my voice cracking and sounding as if it were run over.  
  
The emergency ward at the hospital. We'll move you into a more suitable room soon.  
  
The car accident. I was in a car accident. The realization struck that I wasn't the only one in it. Kari... Where's my sister?  
  
I'm not sure. Would you like to me to find that out for you?  
  
Of course! I snapped.  
  
She gave a small smile as she continued to wheel me into a white room. As she left, she said, I'll go find out and your parents will be in here shortly.  
  
When she shut the door, I immediately noticed it was much quieter. There wasn't the sounds of nurses and patients screaming, nor victim's family and friend's screaming either.  
  
[Kari's fine.]  
  
I turned to see Matt sitting in the chair next to my bedside, giving me a soft smile. My acceptance to his presence was grateful and I wanted him to hold my hand, but he never did. How do you know?  
  
[I just do. She's just badly cut and you both will be out of here by tomorrow.]  
  
My anger began to flare, but didn't last for long; relief flooded me, instead. How do you know all of this, though?  
  
[I can see into the future, of course.] Matt stuck his head high in proudness, laughing slightly.  
  
Really? When will I die? I asked, really hoping it was some time soon.  
  
Matt's head tilted and he stuck out his tongue. [Okay, okay. I heard the doctor's talking about it to your parents.]  
  
A little disappointment struck me, but it also doesn't matter, I suppose.  
  
Tai, honey, who were you talking to?  
  
My head rose to see my mother and father standing in the doorway, both looking tired, distressed, and concerned.  
  
No one. To quickly change the subject, I asked, Is Kari awake yet?  
  
Both shook there head and had taken seats where Matt was - or had - been sitting. He was gone. I always felt a tad anxious when he disappeared like that, mainly for the fear of him not returning.  
  
Are you all right, honey? my mother asked, her hand covering my forehead.  
  
I nodded and closed my eyes, beginning to enjoy the little attention I was receiving.   
  
You and your sister will be out of here by tomorrow, my father said cheerfully.  
  
Yet again, I nodded and began to fall asleep in the peaceful presence of my parents.  
  
***  
  
It didn't take much time to change into clothes my parents brought from home and sneak away from all the doctors, and my parents, who were fretting over me, to sneak into Kari's room. The room was dim and quiet as I shut the door behind me, and a small figure was disclosed on a bed.  
  
I whispered, for the fear of any noise. It was so quiet; almost eerie.  
  
She didn't reply and I whispered her name once again, hoping for a reply. Nothing. Not a stir from her bed or the sweet voice being cheerful as it usually is. Nothing. I wanted some sort of reaction, and it did occur to me that she could be sleeping, but her breathing wasn't consistent as one's usually is when sleeping.   
  
Please talk to me.  
  
she said, her voice dull and monotone.  
  
Because I want to make sure you're okay and well, I - to apologize. I took a seat beside her and was tempted to take her hand in mine, but it wasn't the right time or atmosphere.  
  
Just shut up. She turned towards me with a frown on her face.  
  
I'm sorry-  
  
Sorry for what? For leaving me with these hideous marks because of your craziness! Or, how about for screaming at the others? Huh? Huh? What are you sorry for?! She balled her tiny fists and banged them repeatedly against the bed as she spoke each word.  
  
Fo––for everything, I said weakly.  
  
Why are you acting like this? You're crazy! she yelled.  
  
I am not! And hush, the nurses will hear you, I said, grabbing a hold of her wrist.  
  
She squirmed and banged my hand against the armrest of my chair in an attempt to free herself. Let go of me!  
  
Kari, please-  
  
I hate you.  
  
I gasped and immediately let go of her wrist. My mouth fell open as I stalked out of the room, not turning back for even a second.  
  
Yagami Hikari _hated_ me.  
  
End of Chapter 5  
  
Is everyone liking this weird fic so far? I enjoy writing it immensely.


	6. Hateful Contemplations

Disclaimer - I don't own Digimon.   
  
This is the end. Hope it's okay. Thanks to everyone who reviewed =)  
  
Guardian Angel  
Hateful Contemplations  
  
Hate is a strong word. Too strong and powerful for my likings. I've always been one to select my words carefully and am prone to becoming annoyed when people use words that shouldn't be used. Such as this very word I'm contemplating right now. It's used far too casually for my liking. _I hate Britney Spears. Don't you hate when people smoke in the same room as you? I hate broccoli.  
  
_It always makes me wonder: do people want to kill the pop star, kill people who smoke, and kill broccoli? Does it not seem like a trivial thing to loathe and spend time wasting about?   
  
Teenagers use the word much too casually the most. Whenever Yamato and I had been with Takeru after he and Daisuke got into a snit, he would always use such harsh words. Takeru doesn't hate Daisuke, though. So why does he say that?  
  
Sometimes, the word can be pushed into its full meaning. I'm beginning to believe it has now. My very own sister hates me. She told me with a dead serious expression, not with the yelling and crossing arms like Takeru normally would. Her voice had been dull, lifeless––another sign that it is true.   
  
She hates me.  
  
She has a right to. After everything I have done. Now, as I sit drinking a coffee at home, three days after the accident, I wonder how exactly I got caught into this situation. My eyes traveled across the room to the white object.  
  
The phone. Scrambling to my feet, I found myself unplugging the phone and carrying it to the washroom. My feelings towards the animate object must be very close to the word I had been contemplating, for I had an urge to throw it into the ice cold bathtub. It had been filled two days ago by my mother. When she had brought me home from the hospital, she had run the water and told me to bathe. She had left after that, leaving me with a bathtub full of wasted water.  
  
Something told me to throw the phone in. Letting go, I watched the phone smash against the bottom of the tub, beginning to smoke and sizzle. It was interesting to watch and almost unbearable to stop myself from jumping right in afterwards. I knew the thought was foolish, for I would die by doing so, but it was so very tempting.  
  
I wandered to my bedroom after that. The bed was made, only because I hadn't been sleeping under the covers. Everything seemed in place. Too perfect for my likings. Grasping the covers, I seemed to be in an automatic state as I made a mess with the sheets, leaving them sprawled on the floor.   
  
The sheets were angry with me. They must have been telling my clothes to choke me to death because I suddenly felt like I had no air flowing into me. My clothes were stuck to my body. However, I couldn't allow them to dominate me. I wouldn't. Quickly, I squirmed out of the deadly clothes and strewn them over my angry quilt.   
  
Suddenly, I felt free. There weren't any restrictions as I ran through my small apartment naked as the day I was born.   
  
[Well, don't you look lovely.]  
  
I turned around happily, staring at my beautiful Matt. He was the lovely one, not me. Think so?  
  
He nodded, walking gracefully to the couch where he took a seat.  
  
Kari hates me, I said.  
  
[No, she doesn't. Just upset.]  
  
I shook my head vigorously. She hates me. You hate me too, don't you?  
  
[You're not the same person I met.] He sighed and shook his head, looking deeply troubled.  
  
Obviously not. We were eleven.  
  
He must have ignored everything I just said. [You're different now.]  
  
You hate me?  
  
Matt shook his head. [I love you, but you are different now. I must leave now. Farewell.]  
  
Don't leave me, I cried out, falling to my knees. I feel so alone...  
  
A sudden rage filled my heart as he disappeared. A rage fueled by fear, hate, solitude––any other negative feelings. I felt as if I was on automatic again and my mind was forcing me to do things I wouldn't normally have.  
  
Every piece of kitchen dish was destroyed. I threw them to the ground where they crashed––silence following that. Then another crash. Another silence. I continued this for a while, until everything was shattered into millions of pieces on the floor.   
  
Shards of glass entered the bottom of my feet when they crunched against the floor as I walked back into the living room. There was a cabinet full of picture frames of family members, himself as a child, and of course, Yamato. I took a seat on the carpet as I set each picture frame in front of me. It had taken a few minutes for me to get started because I needed to walk back into the kitchen and find a knife. There was blood stains on the carpet because of my feet, but I hardly acknowledged it as I took another seat.  
  
First, I grabbed a hold of a picture of Kari. Taking the glass out of the frame, I drew horns on the top of her head, and anything else I could think of that seemed to fit of her hate for me. The scratches went right through the picture, so that if I held it up into the light, you could see perfectly what I had drawn. Secondly, I grabbed a picture of Matt and drew a halo and a set of wings coming from his shoulder blades. He looked beautiful...  
  
It was if I didn't have any emotion in me. All reason had left and I felt as if I have to do what my head is telling me to. It's forcing me to do these things because the picture don't look right and the dishes were sneering at me in the kitchen. The broken glass hardly sneered anymore.  
  
As I was working on another picture, I heard the front door click.   
  
  
  
The sweet voice of my sister flowed through the dead silence of the apartment.   
  
Tai? Where are you? TK is coming in a bit and we––  
  
She gasped as she found me in the state I was. I was completely ignoring her presence, working on a picture of the Digidestined together.  
  
Tai... Where are your clothes?  
  
Don't need clothes, I said. They were choking me.  
  
She swallowed and had taken a seat next to me. Tears were running down her face as she took the picture of herself and looked at the result of my mind.  
  
Tai, what's going on?  
  
You hate me, I said, continuing to draw with the knife on the picture. I had scratched out Kari's body, as well as TK's. The others I had meddled with their faces and bodies. Matt received another halo and wings in this picture.  
  
I don't hate you... I was very upset. Please forgive me, she said. Her voice was trembling, as if she was afraid of me. Perhaps she was afraid of me?   
  
I didn't say anything as I set down the picture. Picking up the knife, I began walking back into the kitchen.  
  
Tai! Your feet! Oh my God! What have you done to the kitchen?! she cried out, running to the doorway.   
  
The dishes were sneering at me.  
  
I could hear low sobs escaping her mouth and turned to find her running through the rest of the house. She shrieked when she went into the bathtub and only gasped when she went into the bedroom. Running back out, she had tears running down her face.  
  
What's happening to you?  
  
I ignored her and sat on the glass shards, hardly feeling the pieces cut into my buttocks and thighs.  
  
She cried out as I did this, wincing every few seconds. I noticed her shoes were on as she walked towards me. Lightly, she began stroking my head as the knife fell out of my hand. I stared straight ahead. Didn't blink for a moment.  
  
Kari was mumbling to herself. Where is TK? Oh God...  
  
***  
  
It was quiet wherever I was, except for two faint voices that could be heard. They thought I was asleep.  
  
It's all my fault. I told him that I hated him when I was in the hospital, Kari said. She was crying, not even trying to hide it.  
  
There, there. It isn't your fault. You heard what the doctor said. Tai's mental illness came out as a result of his loneliness of Matt's death. We should have taken the signs more seriously.  
  
I know. We should have taken the signs more seriously. When he thought he saw Matt...  
  
He did see Matt, TK said. It was an illusion brought on my the mental illness.  
  
Oh it's my fault, she said again, bursting into tears.  
  
No, it isn't, TK said firmly. He'll be safe here. Looked after my the nurses and psychiatrists.  
  
I realized I'll be locked away.   
  
Forever.   
  
Maybe Kari and TK would visit me lots.   
  
Perhaps Matt wasn't my Guardian Angel.   
  
  
**The End**  
  
  
Kind of sad, isn't it? Hope it was at least good enough of an ending.


End file.
